Family relationships aren’t always great. That might not be a problem most of the time, but when a family member passes away it can become one. Step-parents are a common example but any relationship can become an issue.
When you think the person that died (decedent) left a will and you think someone else has it but has not submitted it for probate, reach out to them. Be helpful and friendly. Dealing with a death is hard. Help if you can. Start with a call, then email, then a written letter. Your lawyer can write to them but after you escalate like that it’s hard to return to a normal relationship.
Once you are talking, try to find out whether a will exists and get a copy. They aren’t secret. A will only has any effect if it is submitted for probate within 4 years of the maker’s death. Probate court records are public so anyone that pays for a copy can get one.
When there is no will, any interested party can apply to be the administrator of the estate. If all of the statutory heirs agree, then the administrator can use one of the less expensive processes.
Family members have 2 practical choices. They can do the hard work of discussing and agreeing with the rest of the family about the estate, or they can each spend tens of thousands of dollars hiring attorneys to discuss and agree for them. How much do you want to spend?